All That I'm Living For
by Rebeku95
Summary: AU Before season 1. Elena wakes up turned into a vampire. She's confused and lost. Then she meets Damon, who, curious because she looks like Katherine, agrees to teach her the secrets of her new nature.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: Well, here it is. I had planned to write this at Easter holidays, but last Monday I was bored in class and I was inspired so I wrote the first chapter. To _A Hero_'s readers, my priority will be _A Hero_, but this will be my dirty pleasure. **

**I also wanted to tell you this is a translation of my other story _Todo Por Lo Que Vivo_, so if you don't like the story tell me, because translating it is a lot of effort and I want to feel it's actually worth it. It happened with my other story: I had to threat with deleting the story to see if people liked the story... I don't want that to happen, so please, review.**

**Another thing I wanted to make clear: in this AU Elena's parents are alive, so don't freak out when you read it. There will surely be a little of smut in later chapters, but, at the moment you don't have to worry about it. But I warn you: there will be a lot of violence, death and extreme vampirism. You're warned. I want no traumas. **

**If you're still there, welcome and enjoy. Don't forget the review! xoxo Rebeku95**

**Chapter 1**

_I can feel the night beginning, _

****_separate me from the living,_

_understanding me,_

_after all I've seen._

_**Evanescence - All That I'm Living For**  
><em>

The noise of voices around me woke me up. I didn't remember falling asleep. In fact, I didn't remember anything from the past twenty-four hours. I was lying on a rigid, metallic surface, quite uncomfortable, although it didn't bother me too much. I also felt it was a little cold, but it wasn't annoying either. In fact, despite of the uncomfortableness of the place I was in, I was... comfortable? No, I wasn't comfortable, but in a kind of state of numbness that wasn't too unpleasant.

"I don't know the cause of death yet, Liz." I heard a man saying. "I have to do the autopsy to find it out."

Autopsy? What autopsy? Where the hell was I? Who had died?

"Alright, Tom. The Gilberts are here. They want to see them for the last time before the funeral." That was Sheriff Forbes' voice. She was Caroline's mother. What the hell was my family doing here? Maybe I was dead? But that was impossible, because I was there, thinking, feeling what there was around me. But, yet, a Gilbert had died and if that Gilbert wasn't me... then that meant my mother was dead.

Panic took me over. I wasnted to get up and check my mother was alive and safe by myself, but no a single of my body's mucles moved the slightlest.

More noises of people passing by were produced around me, but an especific sound stressed among all of them: a woman's sob next to me. After a minute, the woman spoke: "Oh my God, Elena, what happened to you?" That was my mom's voice! That meant she was perfectly fine but added a question to the list again: who was dead then?

Besides me, my family kept crying heartbroken. "She looks... asleep." That was Jeremy. His voice wasn't clear because of the crying, but it was him. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment was to get up, tell him I was awaken and that everything was going to be okay while I hugged him for dear life. But I couldn't. None of my body's muscles moved, no matter how much my brain ordered them to. In fact, it seemed that even my heart wasn't beating in my chest either. I always had been able to feel my heartbeats, specially when I was lying and unmoving, but in that moment I felt... nothing. Maybe it was true I was dead after all. Maybe when we die we slip in a kind of trance where we can't move until our brain finally switches off. I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that my brain was fighting a battle against my body to make it obey, but, yet I didn't success. And that was killing me (that wasn't on purpose). If I wasn't going to be able to be able to sit up and console my family, it'd be better that it was over as soon as possible, because it was horrible.

While that bottle was going on in my body, the people around it kept talking I heart my dad saying:

"Liz, promise us that you will find the responsible of this."

"Of course, Grayson. This isn't staying like that. Consider it done. Now you have to go it's getting late. The autopsy will take place tomorrow."

The word 'autopsy' made me feel sick. I hoped I was _completely_ dead when it happened, because, although I couldn't move, I could feel _everything_ around me: the cold metallic surface I was lying on, the thin fabric that covered almost my whole body, the ankle brace, I could even feel the heat that irradiated from my family's bodies, who, by the way, were leaving right then despite Jeremy's protests. That broke my unbeating heart and filled me with frustration, but I could do nothing.

When my family left, escorted by the Sheriff, everything went silent and dark (although my eyes were closed, the light filtered through my eyelids). During what seemed hours, I lied in the same position. I had already given up on trying to move. It was useless, although seldom I tried to move to see if I was lucky. I wasn't.

But, about the hundreth time I tried, my index finger moved slightly. My mind was like a huge party and I carried on with my attempts, this time little by little. It reminded me of the film _Kill Bill_, when Uma Thurman wakes up after being shot and she's paraplegic, so she was trying to move her toes for hours. Well, that was the same. Little by little, my ability to move increased until I was able to sit up and open my eyes. I was on a metallic strecher, in an autopsy room. But it wasn't like the ones you saw on CSI or any other TV series. The appereance of that was dirty and gave you the feeling it hadn't been cleaned for a long time. It was disgusting.

Ignoring what surrounded me, I focused on getting out of there. Very carefully, I rested my feet on the floor whyle my hands held the strecher tightly to not fall. When I was sure my kneew wouldn't fail me too much, I stepped a little foward. Then I did it again, and again, and again until I got in fits and starts to the door. Next to me and near the elevator, there was another door with an _exit_ sign above it. I didn't want to take the risk of being caught, so I decided to go out over it.

The door leaded to a Mystic Falls' hospital's alleway. It was empty excepting two boys who were fighting. One of them had a knife that used to cut the other one's wrist. The last one screamed in pain and rage:

"What the fuck are you doing, man? You've just cut my fucking wrist!" He yelled while he crouched down because of the pain.

The other one, ignoring his parter's complains, took advantage of his position to slice his neck. I covered my mouth to keep me from screaming and risking being caught. After that, I almost preferred the autopsy room.

Once the attacker had ended the other one's lifem he took him in his arms, looked at me and started getting closer to me while saying:

"You are Elena, right?" He asked me while he fixed his eyes on mine. That scared the hell out of me. Those eyes were empty, they had no emotion, like a puppet's ones. I simply nodded, too terrified to form a single word. He took it as a good sign and continued stepping closer to me holding his partner's bleeding writs saying: "This is for you."

I should have felt disgusted, I know. But when my eyes caught the glimpse of the dark, red blood, everything stopped. I couldn't help but feeling attracted towards it and the more I focused on it, the more I felt its attraction. I could even catch its delicious scent. I had never smelt something like that. It was better than the most delicious food on Earth. It was something irresistible,

I didn't care anymore about the man's knife or what he had done with it. I got closer to the wrist he offered me and grabbed it tightly. I couldn't resist the temptation of satisfying my morbid curiosity and licked the poor man's wrist softly.

It was even better than I had imagined. It was sweet, but not sickly; spicy, but not too much; slightly salty, without being unpleasant, the opposite. In fact, that simple lick wasn't enough for me and I found myself sucking his wrist deeply until there was nothing left to drink.

The man kept staring at me with those empty eyes when I was done. For a brief moment, I thought of taking his knife an slicing his neck too. It wasn't necessary. His voice dragged me out of my dark thoughts:

"Do you want more?" He asked with a voice that was as emotionless as his eyes.

I nodded anxiously. It didn't matter how much it would cost me. I just knew I wanted more, much more.

He took the knife and opened one of his wrist's veins with no winces. I didn't care about the possibility of that man dying. I just wanted the fortifying, scarlet liquid that emanated from his wrist. With a voracity that wasn't normal on me, I grabbed his wrist tightly and drank deeply until there was nothing left of him. When I was done, I dropped the body aside and ran my hand on my lips to wipe the remainings of blood from it.

It was then when I felt it. My hand brushed a pair of tips of something sharp that left two light scratches. When I passed my tongue on my teeth, I felt my fangs were longer than usual. I touched them softly with my finger and they sharpened even more. With a bit of curiosity, I pressed my finger against my right fang and I discovered it had perforated my skin.

"Ouch!" I complained, although it didn't hurt that much, but I wasn't expecting it. I stared, dazed, at my finger and, to my surprise, the wound had healed within seconds. "Wow." I whispered. "That's cool!"

I looked around me. There was no one at the dark alley. I was surprised I could see so well, given that it was a dark night. In fact, I saw as well as in a clear day.

I started walking, now with no problem. The blood had given me the energy I was craving. I barely stumbled with the men I had just killed and the I headed towards the main street with no defined direction.


	2. Lies

**AN(1): I can't even tell you how sorry I am for this stupid delay. I've had stress, exams, parents, high school... tons of things and sometimes i didn't feel like passing the chapter from my 'inspiration notebook' to my laptop. I have to confess that the chapter was writen and translated two weeks ago. **

**Well, I can't say anything else. Sorry. Hope you enjoy it. :)**

**Chapter 2: Lies**

_I'm struggling all along _

_To feed this hunger,_

_Burning deep inside of me._

_Evanescence: Lies._

The streets were empty, it had to be really late. Shops were closed. The only sound I could hear was the rain falling softly around me. I stopped before a shop's window and watched my reflection with macabre fascination. The fangs I had felt were still there, the that wasn't the only change in my face. My eyes, that used to be chocolate brown, were now blood-shot red that made me feel sick and irrepressibly hungry at the same time. Beneath them, a tiny framework of dark veins stretched until the beginning of my cheeks; my skin was slightly paler, but it still had its olive shade. Overall, the sight was terrifying, even for me, and it was my own reflection.

I didn't recognize myself anymore, but, instead of the horror I should have felt; what I did felt was an irrepressibly curiosity and an unexplainable soothing feeling. I breathed normally, although the oxygen supply didn't have the same effect on my lungs anymore; but the air came in and out with no effect over my body, but that wasn't what surprised me the most; but that with every breath, the prominent veins beneath my eyes were disappearing little by little, the fangs were retracting and my eyes were going back to their usual chocolate brown color. And there I was again. Elena Marie Gilbert. The one I had been seeing at my dressing table's mirror for the last seventeen years.

Sighing, relieved when I saw I was 'me' again, I looked through the glass to see I was before a clothing shop's window. It was then when I noticed my hospital gown that was tied to my neck. It was one of those that showed your whole backside. I realized I needed clothes. The shop before me was closed, just like the rest, and that filled me with a so huge frustration that I punched the glass barely injuring myself. There were only a few pieces of glass that had driven in my skin which I removed easily and watched astonished all the cuts healing in mere seconds. when I came back to reality from I daydreaming, I sneaked carefully in the shop.

I was lucky. That shop wasn't one of the few ones equipped with alarms in Mystic Falls. It was a small town, where everybody knew each other and trusted their neighbors, only a few foreigners had alarms, above all, at the technology and designer stuff shops.

Once I was inside the shop, I started looking for decent clothes. I found a pair of skinny black pants, a purple T-shirt, a leather jacket and a pair of not too high heels (there were no flat shoes). I had a last look of me at one of the various mirrors of the shop and it was enough to see I was more or less decent and ready to walk through the streets. I used my fingers to comb my hair a little without getting very good results.

I dot out through the hole I had got in through and looked around me. Where could I go? Home, of course. I had to make my family know I wasn't dead, that someone had made a mistake and that I was alright. I still had the mental image (or more likely, the memory of the sound) of Jeremy and Mom's crying and Dad begging Sheriff Forbes to find the 'responsible'.

With my decision made, I made my way home to give my family the best news ever.

Or so I thought.

* * *

><p>I got home in about half an hour. It was a pleasant walk. Despite the cold around me, I <em>wasn't<em> cold, just like it had happened at the autopsy room before. It had stopped raining about five minutes ago and I was soaked from head to toes. In spite of my relative comfort, a huge mug of hot chocolate while I sat on my bed to write on my diary sounded like music to me.

I distinguished a figure at the porch. I was a woman and, despite of the darkness, I could see it was Jenna. Surely, my parents had called her because of my supposed death. Little by little, I got closer to her and when I was near enough for her to hear me, I called her:

"Jenna?"

My aunt turned around. Her green eyes irradiated surprise. "Elena! What are you doing here at this time of the night?" Okay. Obviously, Jenna knew nothing about my 'death', she was just visiting my family.

"Nothing. I…" I began to make up an excuse, but Jenna did for me:

"No need to tell me. You've just got from a party, right?"

"What? Oh, I… well, aunt Jenna…" But before I could explain myself, my house's door opened revealing my Mom.

If my mom was going to say something to her visitor, this got stuck at the back of her throat. The only thing she did was to stare at me with happiness and fear fighting in her eyes. At that moment, my dad arrived asking:

"Who is it, Miranda?" He didn't finish his question, because his voice broke as well.

We stayed like that for a while: my parents staring at me open-mouthed and I looking at them alternately until Jenna talked:

"What the hell's going on with you?" She asked while she glanced at my parents and me. None of us noticed her. I was the first one who talked:

"Mom…" I said in a drowned whisper.

She said nothing and tried to go to me, but my father grabbed and prevented her to do it. I took my eyes from my mom to look at my dad, hurt.

"Grayson, what are you doing?" Mom protested.

"She isn't Elena, Miranda." Dad answered with a controlled voice his cold eyes on me. He was nothing that I had seen before. He didn't look like the man that raised me anymore.

"What?" I said. "Daddy, it's me. It's Elena." I said while I approached the doorway. "It was a mistake. I'm not dead. I woke up at the Autopsy Room and came right here."

"No." My father whispered with clenched teeth.

"Okay." Jenna interrupted. "Can anyone tell me what's going on? You know, it's cold and I have this wound. I'd want you to examine, Grayson."

When Jenna mentioned her wound, my eyes left the door to look at Jenna's lifted hand's wound. There was only a little of blood on it, but it was enough to make the burning thirst back. I took my eyes of it and locked them at Jenna's face, but there everything was worse. My eyes wandered to her neck, were all the veins beneath her pale skin. There, I could see her skin rising with every heartbeat. I could even her blood rushing through her veins, calling me. This time, I did feel my fangs elongating and the veins appearing beneath my eyelids. Now I could even see the blood circulating and it was even more tempting.

A voice at the back of my mind warned me that she was my aunt and that I would regret that and, I don't know how, I listened to it at first. I did nothing. I breathed deeply, just like I had done before, and I felt a little of relief; but as my dad and my aunt started arguing more heatedly, completely oblivious to the changes that were going on my face; Jenna was getting angrier, her face was getting redder and my self-control declined even more.

That situation went on for one more minute until I couldn't restrain myself anymore and threw myself upon Jenna on full speed. With a strength I wouldn't have thought I'd possessed, I pinned Jenna against the wall and bit her neck merciless.

Her warm, sweet blood flooded in my mouth and I practically moaned with pleasure. I was barely conscious of what was going on around me until I felt a sharp pain at my ribs. Reluctantly, I took my mouth off from Jenna's neck, who fell unconscious on the floor, to look at who had stabbed me. I met my father's almond eyes, who was stepping away from me little by little. At that moment, I didn't think rationally, I didn't recognize my father anymore, but an attacker I had to protect myself from. I looked down at my ribs. The knife had been driven deeply inside me. Very carefully, I grabbed the knife's handle and took it out in one go wincing. The pain was awful, but I could already feel the wounds healing. I looked back up at my father and gave him a macabre smile. I loved that, although he was trying to hide it, he was terrified. It made me feel powerful, like I was in control. Using my super-speed again, I got closer to him until I was barely a few inches away from him, I grabbed his neck, pinned him against the nearest wall and tightened my grip. Next to me, I could hear my mom yelling:

"Elena! Please, don't do this!" I didn't back down and tightened my grip on his neck a little more. "Please, Elena, do it for me." I could hear the crying within her voice. My suspicions were confirmed when I took my eyes off my father to look at her.

What I saw made me remember who I was and what I was doing. I was choking my own father. Slowly, I let go of him and looked at mu mom again.

Then I started running.

I ran like I'd never done before. In barely a minute, I was out of the town and getting into the woods. I ran for a while, avoiding narrowly the numerous trees until I felt I was far enough from what I had done.

When I finally stopped running, I couldn't recognize where I was. There were some old ruins around me. The only ruins in the area were the old Mystic Falls' church. I had to be around them. At least I was far enough.

I breathed deeply and tried to chill out. I felt my fangs going back to their normal size and the veins disappearing. I kept breathing deeply and I could have stayed like that indefinitely if I hadn't felt someone grabbing my neck. Without previous warning, my back hit a tree with so much force that it trembled violently. The impact made me open my eyes. When I finally was able to focus, I met the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. Those eyes irradiated rage, but it was obvious that their owner wanted to keep calm. The inner fight was evident in those icy blue eyes.

A male voice that made me shiver, said the most strange words I had heard in that day, even weirder than the ones my father had said:

"Missed me, Katherine?"

**AN (2): Well, Damon finally appeared Yaaayyy! Now's when the fun begins ;) Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? Love!**


	3. Never Go Back

**AN: I'm so, so, so sorry. I've had the busiest summer ever. I had to study, my grandma broke her hip, arguments with my parents, major writer's block… So I didn't feel like translating at all. I'm really, really sorry. I know you must all hate me right now, but it would be awesome if you reviewed. Whenever I read your reviews, it makes me want to go on. **

**Thank you so much for reading. Hope you enjoy this. Rebeku.**

**Chapter 3: Never Go Back**

_Everything is so dark,_

_And I know there's something wrong,_

_But I can't turn the light on._

_**Evanescence: Never Go Back**_

Katherine? Who the hell was Katherine? People insisting that I wasn't 'me' again? I was going to eventually believe it after hearing it so many times.

The blue eyed stranger wasn't expecting an answer, because he continued talking.

"After a hundred and forty-five years waiting for the fucking comet to pass on this sad attempt of a town, and all that what for? So when I come here to drag you out of the tomb you ain't there! Why are you here now? To laugh at me because I still loved you? Where have you been all along? Why the hell you haven't looked for me? Why, huh? Why?!" At that moment his grip on my throat had tightened so much that I feared he was going to break some of my bones. Luckily, I didn't have to breathe. Otherwise, I'd be dead.

"I… c-can't… ta-talk." I choked while I tried to move his hand away from my neck, not very successfully, and I was using all my super-strength. Was he stronger than me? How was it possible?

"I see you haven't fed very well lately." He said smirking evilly. Then his grip loosened a little. He was still holding me tightly, but it wasn't as painful as before, and now I was able to talk.

"I… don't know… what you're talking about. I've just fed." From my aunt (and those men at the alley, which I killed, by the way).

Confusion was evident in his beautiful eyes.

"Then how is it possible? You're older than me. You should have hit me back." He mumbled to himself so softly I barely heard him despite my closeness.

Wait. What? I wasn't older than him. I examined his face quickly: the angled jaw, straight noise, the perfectly sculpted cheeks, full, perfect lips; dark raven hair… That man was in his twenties.

"I'm not older than you. I've just turned seventeen. Clearly you're older than me."

"Cut the crap, Katherine! You're more than four hundred and fifty years old and besides, your birthday is in April and we're in September." Again with this Katherine girl!

Very upset, I grabbed the hand that was gripping my throat and I pulled it, more successfully this time, away from me. I pushed him away as much as my strength allowed me to. I was really pissed.

"Fucking Hell! Can y'all stop saying I'm not me?! I'm Elena! Elena Fucking Gilbert! I've woken up at the fucking hospital's morgue hours ago and I didn't know what the hell I was doing there! When I got out of there, there were two freaking crazy guys that gave me their blood and I killed them. After that, I saw I had these fucking fangs and these weird veins. When I went home, my dad had a crazy moment and stabbed me when I was biting my aunt because 'her blood was calling me'. When I get here to chill out, you come (I still don't know who are you, by the way) and almost break my neck and tell me I don't know crap about Katherine and hundred and forty-five years and more bullshit. Why the _fuck_ don't you leave me fucking alone?"

When I was done saying the dirtiest speech I've ever pronounced, I looked at the blue eyed stranger again, who, for the first time, was speechless. There was no more rage nor anger in his eyes, only surprise. Little by little, he came closer to me. I was stepping back to keep distances, because I didn't trust him, until my back hit another tree. The next moment, he was in front of me, too close for comfort.

"You… aren't… Katherine."

I tool an unnecessary breath, showing my fatigue.

"Nooo… and now if you don't mind, I was trying to have a moment by myself." I said while I tried to shove him away.

It didn't work.

The stranger was in front of me, trapping me between his body and the tree.

"Aaaaawww… it's true. You've just been turned. How cute!"

Turned? How turned?

I had never considered my… awakening as a turning, although it actually was. The fangs and that stuff confirmed it. He saw my confusion, because he said:

"You don't know what you are, right?"

I wanted to tell him that I did know what I was, that I didn't need his help or whatever he was offering me. I shook my head.

"Have you ever seen _Interview With The Vampire_, Elena?"

I nodded. I had watched all the Brad Pitt films. I had had a crush on him since… forever. Anyway, what the hell did that have to do with…?

Shit.

Memories flooded in my head like I was watching a film. The man in the alley cutting the other one and offering me his blood, me biting my aunt, taking the knife out of my ribs, the feeling when I ran my tongue on my fangs, the wounds on my hands healing instantly, and, in the end, my reflection on that window.

Then it hit me.

I didn't know how, all those macabre moments had been perfectly normal to me, I saw nothing abnormal in them, although nothing I had done was a typical human's behavior. I had killed two people, for God's sake! (Well, technically, only one, but I had fed on both of them). Now everything was clear, but it was so… impossible to me.

Vampire. I was a vampire. No matter how much I repeated it in my mind, I still couldn't believe it.

The stranger (I _still_ didn't know his name) had been watching me during my little revelation. When he saw I was about asking him, he answered automatically:

"Yes. You're a vampire."

Hearing the word aloud made it more real.

"But… there's no such things as vampires"

"Maybe you should question that statement later." He said in a bored tone while he grabbed my arm and dragged me with him.

"What the hell are you doing?" I protested. I tried to break away from his iron grip, but it was too strong.

"There's an hour left 'till dawn, don't you feel it? So, if you don't wanna turn into grilled-Elena, you better come with me, unless your father the ripper wants to take you in, of course."

He got me there. If it was true that the sun could kill vampires, I had to find someplace to shelter from it, given that he was the only one who had offered me some help, I didn't have too many options left (leaving aside the fact that I couldn't escape his hold).

"Why are you stronger than me?" I asked, curious.

"'Cause I'm older than you." He answered coldly.

"What's your name?" If I was going to sleep (or whatever vampires did during daytime) at his place/whatever, at least I should know his name, right?

"Damon. Damon Salvatore."

"Salvatore? As in Salvatore's boarding house?" I asked surprised. The Salvatore Boarding House was known by the whole town. Zach Salvatore was its owner. Zach wasn't a sociable except for the Founders Council's meetings according to Dad. I didn't know Zach had any relatives left. "Are you a relative of Zach's?"

"Zach is my nephew, more or less."

"Your nephew?"

"You make too many questions. Shut up." He said coldly. How rude!

After another five minutes walking, we finally reached a clearing with a house… sorry, a mansion in the middle of it. It had only two floors, but its size was huge. It was made of brick and wood. I had never seen a house like that before. I would have admired it more if Damon hadn't been dragging me to the doorway. There were no traces of the dawn yet, but I could feel it, just like he had said. It was weird. I could feel it in my bones, the urge to shelter from the sun was growing as minutes passed by.

The house was even more impressive indoors. Everything was richly decorated with antique furniture: a leather armchair over there, a Victorian table over here, Persian carpets all over the place… it was incredibly welcoming to… well, to be a vampire's dwelling.

"Do you have a… guest coffin?" I asked doubtfully.

He stopped dragging me to look at me and see if I was joking. I wasn't.

Then, suddenly he started laughing so much I feared he was going to die of it. He tried to hide it at first, but he couldn't, and I was there, standing and staring at him annoyed. "It's not funny." I finally said. "I've just found out what I am. You could me a little more sympathetic."

"Yeah, yeah… it's just… Coffins?" He said as another huge amount of laughter took over him.

"In _True Blood_ they sleep in coffins, so I don't know what are you laughing at." I said. I was really pissed off.

"Well, why don't you forget of the films and that stuff? Just so you know, you don't need to sleep, but it's the best way to pass the day if you have nothing better to do. Now what you need is to isolate from the sun." and, as he was saying that, he disappeared from my eyesight. I could hear the noise of the curtains moving around me. Two seconds later, he was in front of me again, the curtains were closed and I was amazed.

"Wow. That was fast." I whispered in awe.

He smirked cockily.

"And you haven't seen it all yet." He said winking at me.

When he said that, I felt a huge wave of curiosity. I only knew about vampires what I had read and watched on films and TV, so I was dying to know what else was true and what wasn't.

"And when will I see everything?" I said biting my lip and looking innocently at him.

He narrowed his eyes.

"What makes you think I'll show it to you?" He said stepping closer to me.

"Well, if you wanted, you could kick me away from here right now and leave me to deal with the sun by myself. But you haven't. You brought me to your place and isolated me from the sun, so if you don't wanna show me how to be a vampire, why have you brought me here?"

He was speechless. His eyes were wide open just like his lips as well, but a second later, his surprised face turned into a cold, indifferent one.

"Entertainment." He finally said, like he was saying what the weather was like. "One of the problems that 'forever' brings, is that you can get easily bored. I needed something to have fun with and then I found you." He shrugged.

I didn't believe it a second. He had forgotten to mention the little incident that took place when he found me. You know, grabbing someone's neck and yelling at them that for a hundred and forty-five years they didn't care about him, isn't the most usual way to start an… entertainment relationship.

"Sure."

"Okay, then. Now follow mw to your new bedroom." He said offering me his hand. I doubted, but I had nothing better to do, so I took it and followed him. "Be careful with the sun." He said while he went through a sunbeam with impunity.

"Why can you walk under the sun?" I asked running my hand through the small beam of light.

That was the biggest mistake of my life (one of many). I didn't know why he had walked through the sun, but at that moment, my hand felt like it was on fire. I could even tell there was a little of smoke.

"Because I have this special ring." He said showing me his left hand while he examined mine. "It'll heal now. Will you obey me now?"

I pursed my lips together, frustrated because I knew nothing about that was opening to me before my eyes. I finally nodded. He resumed his way through the house. This time, I avoided carefully the sunbeams with no more incidents.

"And now go to sleep. Don't move out of here, got it?"

I barely had enough time to nod before the door was closed.

Well, Elena, welcome to the fascinating world of vampirism.


	4. Bleed

**AN(1): Okay, I can't express how sorry I am. If you want me to, you can PM me to tell me to beg for your forgiveness and I'll gladly oblige, okay? But you gotta know that this is gonna be a hell of a year. My future depends on the grades I get this year, so I'm stressed, blocked and uninspired. So please, be understanding, I would gladly drop high school to write the most awesome fanfictions for you, but unfortunately, I can't. **

**Here's the chapter, enjoy it, and please, review! :)**

**Chapter 4: Bleed**

_We all live, _

_We all die._

_That does not, _

_Begin to justify you._

_**Evanescence – Bleed**_

The sound of a TV downstairs woke me up. It was already nighttime, I could feel it, I felt it was safe to go outside to… what the hell was I supposed to do now?

There were a couple of bags on a bedside table, which weren't there this morning. I stepped closer to them to examine them. There were some clothes inside; they all were mi size, and a note:

_It's for you._

_D._

Wow! This man wasn't too much talkative, was he?

I looked around me and found out that the bedroom I was in had a bathroom. This morning I didn't take too much time to explore the room, because as the sun came out onto the horizon, tiredness took me over to the point I think I fainted carelessly on the bed. There also was a basic cleaning kit, which I gladly used, having a long shower to wash any blood remains away from my skin. The memory of how that blood had gotten there, made my fangs elongate and my vision turn red because of the thirst, but a growing part of me was sickened by what I had done. I almost killed my aunt! I almost choked my own father! What the hell was wrong with me?

I turned the water down and stepped out of the shower before the pain in my chest took over me completely and lost control.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Tears stained my face and I'll never forget the horror I saw in it. Guilt was eating me alive, the self-loathing was so strong and intense I could barely stand watching my own reflection. In a sudden rage attack, I punched the mirror; shattering it into a thousand of tiny sharp little pieces. I opened my fist to check the damage: my hand was full of little pieces of glass sticking into my muscles, my nerves, my tendons, and even some of my bones. It didn't hurt too much though, and this was actually insignificant compared to the pain I felt when my father stabbed me.

The memory of my father at that moment came to my mind, hurting me in a deeper and more intense way than the actual knife. The cuts on my hand were then nothing for me. The pain I felt within my chest when I realized my own father wanted to kill me was way a hundred times worse than any cut would ever be. Again, tears filled my eyes, but these tears weren't guilt tears, but regret, pain and loss tears. Because I had lost my family. I had lost them all when I decided to go back to the house that used to be my home.

I didn't realize Damon had come to the bedroom until he took my cut hand to examine it. I held back a scream of surprise, because I hadn't heard him coming in. I was so blinded by the pain and the sorrow I hadn't paid attention to what happened around me.

Damon watched my face carefully, lifting my chin to see it, I wasn't crying anymore, but I was breathing sharply and my thoughts were incoherent and confusing, mainly occupied by my family's faces and their voices when they were at the autopsy room. Another wave of sobs took over me.

He tensed up immediately. It seemed he didn't know how to deal with a crying girl; he probably killed them or ripped their throats off to shut them up. I wondered if he was thinking of doing that to me. However, he decided to ignore my tears and focus on matters that were more important:

"Come with me. Let's remove those glasses from your hand so you can heal." His voice, unlikely last night, was kind instead of cold. I have to say I liked the change, to be honest. Damon let me silently through the house to the kitchen. It was richly decorated, but I was too numb to notice it further. Damon pointed a chair for me to sit down and let go of my hand to go and get a first aid kit, he took a couple of bandages and cottons and sat in front of me to begin to remove the little pieces of glass that had sank in my hand.

For a minute or two, we were in a calm silence, only interrupted by the clicking sound of the glasses hitting a bowl nearby that Damon had brought. Damon was the first to talk:

"At the beginning, it's normal that you feel a thousand different emotions within seconds, and every emotion will be more intense than the last one. Everything is heightened, not just your senses; smell, taste, touch, sight; but also all your feelings; pain, joy, sorrow, guilt, lust… Everything is magnified, everything is confusing, every emotion is terribly different, but, at the same time; similar. Everything will lead you to the same thing: thirst. It's like… being on your period, but more intense." He finished winking at me, I guess to make me feel better. And I guess it worked because I smiled briefly and said:

"And here I was thinking that I wouldn't have that problem being dead." He shot me a faint smile and kept on working silently.

Meanwhile, the TV at the other room, the one that woke me up, was still on. At that moment, the news was being broadcasted. One particularly took my attention:

"_Elena Gilbert's body's disappearance from the Mystic Falls Hospital's morgue is still keeping the police in a state of anxiety. Sheriff Forbes has talked to this channel and said that it's still being investigated how and when the body could have gone missing._" Said Logan Fell's voice.

"_There are still no suspects._" Said Liz Forbes' voice. "_The people responsible of the body's disappearance could be the men found dead at the alley, but no one remembers seeing them here before, so the investigation could still lead us anywhere._"

I chuckled. Damon looked at me, curious.

"Those men have nothing to do with my 'body's disappearance'." I said drily, pointing the room where the TV sound was coming from.

"Then someone put them there so the police could have something to investigate?" Damon asked. It looked like it was a rather important matter for him, because he seemed very interested.

"No. Well, I mean, yes. _I_ put them there, given that I killed and left them in that alley."

For a moment, Damon looked at me astonished. After that, his expression changed to an amused one.

"Looks like someone had a good feast on her first night as undead."

I was about to reply rudely and sharply to him, when I heard my dad's voice on the TV. In a moment, I was not at the kitchen anymore, but at a living room watching the flat TV screen, which showed my parents, whose appearance was heartbreaking. Dad was wearing a swan collar pullover, I was it was in order to hide the bruises my fingers had left there when I grabbed his neck. My mom looked lost in her thoughts, her eyes empty and void.

"_We think that whoever people responsible of our daughter's body's disappearance has to pay for it." _My dad was saying. "_We do know that this is a human mistake and that's why no compliant will be filed against the Hospital, but we do want our Elena's… body to be found as soon as possible to be able to bury her properly and go on with our lives as normally as possible. We just want to bury our Elena for her to rest in peace._"

Why the hell was my dad on TV if he knew that my body hadn't gone missing, and that I wasn't dead?

"Why don't they clarify it? Why don't they say that this is a misunderstanding? Why don't they say that I'm still alive?"

"Because, for them, you are not." Said Damon next to me. I turned around to look at him. "The Gilberts are in the Founders Council and it seems that the Founders Council knows about our existence. They may be protecting you from the Council, or the Council already knows about you and it's going to hunt you down. Anyways, you should get the hell away from here."

"Go away? From Mystic Falls? How could I leave? This is my home."

"Yeah, with these adorable neighbors who want to see you dead, actually dead." He said sarcastically. "Believe me, Elena, when all the ones you knew want to see you dead, you're not home. And now," he said turning the TV off, "let's finish removing that piece of glass from your cheeks, shall we?"

"There isn't a piece of glass on…" I started saying, but stopped when I touched my cheek and found a piece of glass that, when I touched it, dug further within my flesh and cut my finger."

"Excuse me, you said?" He asked teasingly arching an eyebrow.

"Shut up."

We went back to the kitchen and I sat on the chair I was on before, while Damon resumed his task of removing mirror fragments from my body. He was almost done with my hand and the skin there was regenerating and going back to be as flawless as usual. When Damon got a little closer to me to remove the piece of glass from my cheek, I made the most of the fact that he was really close to me to watch him more intently.

The first thing that caught my attention was that pair of blue eyes of his that could take your breath away with a simple glance. They were the shiniest, clearest and most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. When you looked at them, they absorbed you. I could stare at those eyes eternally and never get tired of them. His hair was black, smooth and straight. It was slightly messed, but not too much. God, I did want to run my hands through that hair to check if it was as soft as it looked like…

"See something you like?" Damon's voice interrupted my school girl thoughts. I smirked at him.

"Very." He smirked back at me. "So, what are we doing today?"

"'We'?" He said arching an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, I thought we had passed that last night. I'm not gonna entertain you much if we don't do something together." I added grinning.

He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing about it.

"Okay then. Given that you already had a very good dinner yesterday, you won't need to feed today, so let's go and have some fun." He said winking at me.

* * *

><p>"Seriously, Damon, what are we doing here?" I asked glancing at the bar we were in.<p>

In the first place, when we got out of the old Salvatore boarding house, we went to the woods surrounding it. There, Damon showed me how fast and strong vampires can be. He did a couple of showings which I'm pretty sure he really enjoyed to leave me speechless: he suddenly disappeared from my sight and was right behind me, a second after that, he was on a tree branch twice his height, which he easily ripped off, and right after that he was in front of me again, as if none of that had happened.

Once he had showed me the physical qualities of vampires, which I already had figured out from my experience, he told me he'd show me something I would love. That's why, seemingly, we were here, at a crowded Denver college bar.

"Given that today you're surely not feeling too thirsty, let's have some fun with these amusing, drunk college students." He said with a macabre smirk on his lips which worried and excited me at the same time.

"And what's exactly the idea of 'having fun' for a vampire?" I asked in a whisper.

"You see, princess, one of the first things you must learn about your new species is that we're predators, we're at the highest position on any food chain. We enjoy the hunt, the chase, fucking and killing, and not necessarily in that order." I shuddered. "But, since nowadays we can't enjoy a good killing without people realizing within a minute, we have the lightest substitute: 'snatch-eat-erase'."

"'Erase'? What do you mean 'erase'?" I asked confused.

He looked at me, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "That, my dear Elena, is what I'm teaching you tonight." He said, offering me his hand.

I, dying of curiosity, took his hand and let Damon lead me to the bar. There, he ordered two bourbons and turned around to examine the crowd of intoxicated students. Once the waiter had served us our drinks, he grabbed his, downed it and told me:

"When I make you a sign, I want you to follow me to the back of the bar."

"Where are you going?" I asked. I didn't want him to leave me alone.

"To grab a snack."

Without saying anything else, he strode towards a girl who was sitting alone at one of the booths to talk to her. She was blonde, blue eyed, and beautiful. She seemed to be waiting for someone until Damon began chatting with her. I could only see Damon's back and couldn't hear them because of the loud crowd around us, but she looked delighted by whatever Damon was saying to her. It certainly seemed that Damon could be quite a charmer when he wanted to, not just menacing and dangerous.

I stopped with my divagations when the girl stood up and took Damon's hand, who looked at me and made me sign to follow them. I took a deep breath and downed my bourbon glass. The burning feeling that ran through my throat while the alcohol made its way down to my stomach gave me the courage I needed to follow them.

I tracked them in a moment. Damon had the girl trapped against the wall, but she didn't seem to be afraid, she must have been thinking they were going to hook up or something like that. But as I stepped closer to them, I realized that the girl's face showed no emotion, it was void. For a moment, it reminded me of the boy who killed his partner and offered me their blood. 'The guy I killed', said the annoying voice of my conscience. I decided to ignore it and got closer to Damon and the girl.

"Oh, Elena, I see you finally decided to join us." Said Damon cheerfully.

"Why's her face like that?" I whispered.

"Because I've compelled her. That's your lesson today, Elena: compulsion."

"'Compulsion'?"

"Would you mind to stop repeating everything I say? It's annoying. Yes, Elena, compulsion. Our dear friend, Meg… Mag… whatever, is right now under my control. She'll do anything I'll ask her to, no questions. What if I tell her to go in that bar right now and make a striptease? She'll do it. What if I tell her to propose herself to her father? She'll do it. What if I tell her to jump off a bridge? She'll do it! Right, dear?" Damon asked her without even looking at her.

"Yes." She said with a voice as emotionless as her eyes.

"Very well. 'And what has this to do with our «snatch-eat-erase» feeding method?' You'll be wondering. And I'll answer you that it's not just that I can control Mag's body's actions, but also her memories. I can make her remember she has been her whole life in Paris and remember every second of it even if she never set a foot on Europe. I can make her forget all the ones she loves. I can even make forget who she is."

Suddenly, Damon's face changed: his beautiful blue eyes were red now, an intricate pattern of dark veins appearing underneath his eyes, and his fangs had elongated. Now vampire Damon Salvatore was in front of me. The girl, Meg, showed no sign of fear. Her face was still as emotionless as before. Little by little, Damon inched his mouth closer to Meg's neck and bit it. Instantly, the sweet scent of Meg's blood invaded my nostrils. I tried to get closer to her, but Damon prevented me to.

"Ah. Ah. Ah. Careful, Miss Gilbert. Remember: it's 'snatch-eat-erase', not 'snatch-eat-massacre', okay?"

I nodded my head, took a deep breath and inched my lips closer to the bleeding wound that Damon had opened on Meg's neck. As soon as the blood flooded inside my mouth, I moaned. It was delicious. Not as sweet as the first time I tasted blood, but yet, it was exquisite.

Next to me, Damon was trying to move me away from her saying:

"Elena, 'snatch-eat-erase'." His voice was firm but kind. Reluctantly, I got away from Meg. "Good." Damon whispered. "Now it's when the 'erase' part comes up. Look into her eyes and tell her to forget everything that has happened and to leave. Her pupils will dilate and she'll have forgotten everything that has happened."

I looked into Meg's eyes. Her blue eyes were dark, contrary to Damon's, they almost were grey. I focused on what I wanted, and ordered to her very slowly:

"Meg, you forget everything that happened here and go to your place, okay?"

"Okay." She said was her pupils dilated and contracted again. I stepped away from her, and she left.

I turned around to face Damon.

"When a vampire… compels a human, do they always have that… empty face?"

"Yeah." He said. "Why do you ask?"

"Those men… the ones at the alley next to the hospital, the ones I killed. The one who offered me his blood had exactly the same expression on his face as Meg's. And when he cut his wrist for me to drink, he didn't even flinch, he didn't seem to be afraid that I'd killed him. I… I think he was compelled."

Damon's face before that revelation told me those weren't good news.

**AN(2): What do you think? Tell me in your review! For spoilers, follow me on Twitter ( Rebeku95) or check sometimes the hashtag #ATILFFic. Love you! xoxo**


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